Every day a different drink. Not just how to make them, but a detailed review of how they actually taste, photos of the drinks, and stories along the way. Starting from the beginning, The Bartender's Black Book will be our guide, taking us

(and our livers) on a journey from which we may never recover. Cheers!

March 26, 2011

#80: Apple Martini

Dash of Dry Vermouth or Apple Liquer (optional)
4 oz Apple Vodka
Pour into a mixing glass filled with ice, stir, and strain into a chilled glass or pour with the ice into a short glass.
Garnish with an apple slice

I decided to make this martini with vermouth instead of the apple liquer, in keeping with a more traditional martini.

The Apple Vodka was delicious, and the apple flavors were nowhere near as overpowering as I thought they would be. The drink was light and crisp, withe a very pleasant overall smoothness. I know that criso and smooth aren't usually descriptions that go together, but that's what this was. Crisp yet smooth. Exactly what an apple martini should be, if you think about it. It was like Johnny Appleseed and Leon Trotsky had a love child, and he made this drink for me.

After a few sips, I took a bite of the apple slice garnish and then tried some more of the martini. Hard to imagine, but it was even better.

This was definitely a winner. I'm not usually a fan of "designer" martinis, but this was a very nice happy surprise.

BTW, I think I went a little overboard on the backdrop for the photograph today. It seemed cool, funky, and a little hip when I set it up, and even when I was editing the photo, but the more I look at it, the more I think that I should stage the photos before I start drinking. What do you think? Does it work, or does it make your molars hurt?


In 2002, a British scientist set out to do a study of the broad appeal of humor across different cultures, demographics, and countries. Richard Wiseman named this experiment Laughlab, and he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. In the end, he found what may be the world's funniest joke. At least across the broad spectrum of people who voted online. Here is that joke:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

Maybe you have to be British to find this the funniest joke in the world. It's certainly not the funniest joke I have ever heard. Notice that it is totally clean. My brother told me the world's filthiest joke once, which I can't even repeat here. Maybe it was just the most offensive joke, knowing my brother. That was funnier. Maybe my sick mind needs the shock of a filthy joke. I'm not saying that the joke determined by LaughLab isn't funny, and I think it was a bit if a noble experiment. I do think that it is the funniest joke across the broadest spectrum of sensibilities too. The only people it might offend either don't like any jokes, or have been shot in a hunting accident. So basically all of Dick Cheney's friends.

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