Every day a different drink. Not just how to make them, but a detailed review of how they actually taste, photos of the drinks, and stories along the way. Starting from the beginning, The Bartender's Black Book will be our guide, taking us

(and our livers) on a journey from which we may never recover. Cheers!

February 2, 2011

#33: Albatross (frozen)

1 cup ice
1 oz Gin or Lime Gin
1 oz Melon Liquer
1 Egg White
1 oz sweetened lime juice
Combine in blender, blend until smooth

The albatross is a large winged seabird. I wish this one had flown away. It can also be a metaphor for a wearisome burden. That seems right too. The only thing that really matches the name is the color: white.

This actually didn't sound so bad. A nice melon/citrus frozen drink. I could not have been more wrong. This has to have been one of the worst drinks I have ever had the bad luck of tasting. It is definitely the worst drink in the journey so far, and the only one to date that I was not able to finish. In fact the first sip of this was almost undrinkable. The taste was just horrible. It was the opposite of how I like my women: bitter and thick. Just plain disgusting, with a melon taste that will stay with me for quite awhile. In my nightmares.

I looked over the recipe again, just to make sure I hadn't missed anything vital. Quickly I saw what may be the culprit. I believe that the lime juice I used was unsweetened, even though it does not actually say that on the bottle. On further inspection, I noticed that the bottle had a small graphic in the corner that claimed it was "double strength." That may explain why it had a recipe on the back for Key Lime Pie as well.

Assuming that what was needed to remedy this atrocity was some sweetening, I dumped a packet of artificial sweetener into the frozen mess, and stirred vigorously. The alcohol in the drink keeps the ice from melting very quickly, so it definitely took some stirring to get the sugar mixed in. Finally I decided to have another try.

Not nearly as bad. Not anywhere near what I would like in a drink, but at least I could choke down a large sip. I know that's not a ringing endorsement. It's not meant to be. Looking at the recipe, I can see where this drink was headed when it was dreamt up, but this combination of flavors just does not work.

Order this when you want to stop drinking, because you won't want another.

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